Turn your Complaints into Blessings
December 12, 2007
If your life “sucks,” if you are miserable, or if you just aren’t happy with your life, there is hope. In fact, you can take the first step towards changing your life RIGHT NOW; and this will work in every area of your life. No matter what’s wrong in your life, the first step is to STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR LIFE and find something better to think and talk about.
You may be isolated and not have anyone to talk to; but you still talk to yourself. And, if your life stinks, you are probably complaining to yourself. It may seem obvious: “I’m only complaining because my life really is miserable; I wouldn’t complain if my life was good.” But that is a lie. Don’t get mad at me; you are the one lying to yourself. And the, “I will be happy when…,” lie is one of the most common reasons people stay unhappy. Negative self-talk is self-destructive and self-sustaining; this is a trap you want to avoid.
The truth is that the emotions causing you to complain are the same emotions creating the life you are complaining about. This isn’t your fault; but if you want to change your life, it is your responsibility to change this for yourself. It is possible (likely) that you were simply never taught to be positive. True, most people aren’t (which makes it very unlikely that you would have a “positive” role model); but there are positive role models out there in the world. Find one and learn. Notice how they handle the situations that set you off, or cause you to lose your balance or center.
Probably, something traumatic or uncomfortable happened to you when you were younger; and you felt absolutely justified in judging and commenting on your unfortunate circumstances. But to do so after the fact is to create a new idea – a new thought, or a new prayer. People comment on the obvious and recreate it; people complain about their present situation and prolong or worsen it. To speak of the past is to live in the past; speaking of the past keeps it alive. The same is true of those things you don’t enjoy; speaking of them keeps them around.
Quit complaining about the things you don’t like; in case you haven’t noticed, it isn’t helping. Regardless of what your problems are – stop noticing the “bad” and speaking of it. For starters, who could you possibly repeat your problems to who really wants to hear them. When people ask you how you’re doing, they are not asking for your medical history or to hear all the drama and trauma in your life. They are being polite; and, if you think about it, they are giving you an opportunity to decide that things are going great and to declare it. It’s your decision; it’s your free-will. Don’t be “that person” who tells all of their woes to the first soul who offers a kind word; leave ‘em wanting more – not wanting to leave. People who are trying to uplift you are not looking to be brought down by your negative outlook. “Be of good cheer!”
Begin blessing those areas of your life where you have only been noticing problems. Try making a list of all the things in your life you complain about – or that you could complain about (if you were the kind of person who complains, of course). Write “My Complaints:” at the top of the page; and then make a list of all the things in your life that irritate you, that you don’t like, that mistreat you, or about which you have any complaints at all. Your list may be longer, shorter, a bit more or less detailed, or have completely different things altogether; but here is a list of things (in no particular order) people typically complain about:
Now, take another sheet of paper and label it: “Things I will never again complain about:”
And copy the items from your first list:
Now, whenever you hear your mouth playing the old recordings of complaints about any of the things on this list, remind yourself that you will never again complain of any of these things; and replace the complaint with a blessing. For a list of the blessings in your life, simply take a third sheet of paper and label it: “My Blessings:” Then, copy the items from the list of things you will never again complain about. Then add: “Bless me for no longer complaining about the important people and things in my life!”
My Blessings:
1. Job / co-workers
2. Bills / Finances
3. Spouse / Relationships
4. Kids / Noise / Mess
5. Health / Medical problems
6. Weight / Body Image
7. Parents / Siblings / Friends
8. Government / Taxes / etc…
9. Traffic / Crowds / Lines
10. People who Judge and Complain
11.Bless me for no longer Complaining about the important people and things in my life!
You can continue adding to this list as you wish; in fact, it is highly recommended that you do so. It will become easier and easier to see the blessings that were always around you when you begin to reformat your mind to see those blessings closest to you. The only difference between a blessing and a complaint is in your perspective and what you do with it.
You see, when you declare your kids are a blessing, and you cultivate that feeling daily, you start to see them differently – and they see you differently, too. You act differently; and they act differently. The same is true with your husband or wife (husbands may take a bit more work…), or with co-workers, or anything else on your list; it is better to bless than complain. “Declare a thing and it is so;” if you declare how miserable these parts of your life are, you are simply stuck with your own declarations. You asked for it, you got it… Or, “Ask and ye shall receive.” If you are complaining about your finances and want to know where your relief is, just remember: “You have not because you ask not.” Complaining and worrying is not the same as asking or declaring.
Try gratitude and appreciation – especially with the people and things in your life that you feel do not deserve your blessings or gratitude. They need it most of all; and you probably need to bless these areas of your life most of all. You will be surprised at what happens – and at how easy it is to turn your complaints into blessings.
For more on blessing the things in your life, or to join a Blessing Experiment or take part in the 30-day Blessing Challenge, go to www.BetterToBless.com and sign-up for the free challenge.
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